Nothing was off-limits when Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player to be drafted into the NFL, visited Quinnipiac University for a panel discussion Tuesday night. He walked into Burt Kahn court to cheers and a standing ovation from students and student-athletes, not much younger than him.
He was honest and open. He told stories and gave advice. It was his first time speaking with a group like this about his experience.
“My plan was not to come out publicly, but God had other plans, so I did what it did,” Sam said.
He didn’t want to hide his sexuality, and his initial plan was to just come out to the team and organization that drafted him. He felt pressure from the media, however, and made the decision to go public.
Sam’s decision pushed him into the spotlight and scrutiny — but it was something he didn’t shy away from. His fiance, Vito, told him he was the only one who could have taken on this type of responsibility. Sam comes from a broken home and was the first of eight children to attend and graduate college, so he said he has the strength to be this type of a spokesperson.
“It’s just who I am,” he said. “… I’ve achieved so much so I will do this, continue on doing this, and continue on being a hope to others.”
Sam, 25, graduated from the University of Missouri last year, so he was happy to be back, speaking with people close to his age. He hoped the group of college students would be inspired to act on what he said.
“Not everyone in that room was gay, but [there were] people who were there who respected and understand LGBT, and I think it’s important for our generation to do something,” he said.
It was in college that Sam was finally able to do something himself about how he was feeling. Growing up in a conservative Texas city, Sam had to keep his sexuality a secret.
“I wanted to experiment, and after that first time in college, I was pretty [darn] certain I was gay,” he said, laughing.
Through his last year of college, Sam learned to accept himself as he is. He wants others to do so as well.
“I am who I am, and some people think just because I’m gay I’m supposed to be feminine,” he said, “I mean, I came out right before my season. Did I look feminine? No. I looked like I was supposed to look like.”
He spoke of dealing with stereotypes, and the hate that comes with it.
“I get it, so many hateful messages every day,” he said. “Daily. I’m probably getting something hateful right now. But I think you respond to hate with love, and that’s what I did.”
As Sam figures out how to build his career, he’s adding reality TV show “Dancing with the Stars” to his plate. He was hesitant at first, but decided despite the extra spotlight, it was something he wanted to do.
“I saw the former NFL players do it, so why can they do it and not me?” he asked.
His daily routine now involves football training at 8 a.m., then ballroom dance training at 1 p.m. with his partner, Peta Murgatroyd.
“She kicks my ass,” he said, before demonstrating one dance move he’s learned, the New Yorker.
He joked about being a “star,” and said it’s Murgatroyd who really is the star.
“She’s amazing,” he said. “She’s so patient with me. I’m lucky to have her.”
After “Dancing With the Stars,” it doesn’t matter to Sam whether he makes it in the NFL or not — no matter what, he said he will still feel successful.
“Absolutely,” he said, and stopped signing posters for a moment. “Absolutely. I mean I think my biggest achievement in life was graduating college. … Football helped me get there and that’s why I respect the sport so much.”
He plans to keep playing football this season, through the CFL or the NFL, and knows that he doesn’t need football to continue helping people and making a difference.
